SUCCESSFUL COUPLES COUNSELING: YOUR ROLE AS A CLIENT

According to research, the success of couples counseling in Reston, VA is measured in four elements. The client's capacity for growth and self-healing accounts for 40% percent of the success. Every individual has strengths and resources; these may include beliefs, values, feelings, skills, knowledge, experience, abilities, relational capacity, and so on. An effective therapy is thus, one that will help clients appropriate their resources. Dr. Durana mentions that to be able to elicit strengths, competencies and resources, one must focus on what has worked, rather than what has failed. This idea lets us believe that we can seamlessly move from a position of strength - therefore, problem-solving is facilitated and self-esteem is enhanced. By looking at what's right with people, what works or has worked for them in the past and by recognizing assets in what people say and do, peoples' capacity for healing and change can be promoted.

Other forms of counseling and learning give emphasis on what's wrong with the person (pathologizing), on what's the unseen cause of the problem and what can be done to fix it. Although occasionally useful, Dr. Durana learned that this approach has many drawbacks. For example, when a person is called phobic about relationships, this label and the associated lack of competencies can act as barriers that may prevent fully understanding the person; the label may threaten and cause defenses. Dr. Durana holds that a person is much more than a label. In the above example, it is therefore more relevant to say that the person may have difficulty relating to other people because of past disappointments. As a result, the person will be led to self-understanding, self-acceptance and self-love. As a counselor, Dr. Durana believes that thinking about the client in this manner may help in avoiding getting into a rut, trying to "fix" the person. How we think about what goes on with ourselves and with another person is of utmost significance.

It's worthwhile to find out what has not worked, but it is more practical to find out what has worked so that it can be developed and utilized; for instance, in what periods of our lives were we most ourselves, when and how did we make the best decisions, and so on. Self-discovery, personal responsibility, personal control and problem solving are the emphasis of Dr. Durana's techniques of therapy. It is based on the premise that people have the capacity to uncover resources and directions for growth in life, and it's based on a faith and an interest in everyone's personal worth, competence and lovability.

As per Dr. Durana, these are how roles and relationships in a couples counseling in Reston, VA look like: (1) the therapist helps uncover the client's resources and capacity for growth and generates conditions under which an effective counseling can take place and (2) the client makes the therapy work.